"For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison." - Hamlet
Let’s talk about something that comes up a lot and I found myself thinking about with many clients - diets, restriction and black and white thinking.
I like to think I use my words carefully, especially with clients, not moralizing food, limited use of “good” or “bad”, “healthy” and “unhealthy” foods.
Nutrition isn't just about the nutrients from food. Nutrition and food is so much more! These limiting terms keep it in a small box and don't do it justice. I know it contributes largely to my clients information they hear, what they think they should be doing, guilt, and other emotions around their food and that relationship as well as the constant monkey mind (the non-stop circular thinking that doesn't stop and just causes more stress).
It's also the reason why I don't "do" diets in the modern, fad, or trendy sense of the word. It's why personalize nutrition, health and wellness coaching is so wonderful!
Here's 3 tips to help you stop your black and white, all-or-nothing thinking:
Get curious about what you think - how has that black and white thinking treated you? Does it leave you feeling like a good or bad person? Cause guilt or shame? Contribute to emotional or binge eating or drinking? Get curious about your thinking and ask if it's true? (One of my favorite saying is "the least interesting thing about you is how you look." And I know this because it true about me, my friends, every single client I have had, and nearly everyone I have ever meet or known!) Just take a minute and think about ALL the things in your life you have overcome or accomplished in your life!
Start to shift your thinking to more neutral thoughts - for example, if you find yourself thinking "I ate too much dessert", shift it to "I gave myself what my body was asking for". Or you can also swap the word "but" to "and". For example, "I enjoyed that pizza but I wish I didn't eat as much" to "I enjoyed that pizza and I wish I didn't eat so much." The word and lets two things exist separately and not bound together, there's less emotional charge there and more neutrality.
Watch what you watch - do an audit of your social media feed. Stop following the people feeding you these things you think you need to do. And add a few more inclusive accounts.
Lastly, this all-or-nothing thinking tends to come from those perfectionistic tendencies and often stems from low self-esteem. This usually extends to other areas of life too! So next time you catch yourself in this type of thinking, remember - good enough is good enough! If you had one flat tire would you slash the other 3 tires or work on fixing the flat?